What is it about Girl Scout cookies that fills me with bubbles of happiness the first time each year a student looks at me wistfully and asks if I want to buy any Girl Scout cookies? I know it is not easy to ask, but if only they knew how I was waiting for this day.
"Oh yes I do!" Then I begin to choose, wondering how can I get all of the ones I want in the quantities I want and not look like the Girl Scout cookie addict I seem to turn into.
Lucky for me...in a school my size, Girl Scouts abound and they won't know how many I have purchased from any of the others.
Oh happy day!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
HOPE
HOPE is one of my favorite words.
Total mouth movement is required to say it. No mere mumbling can produce that word...HOPE
Somehow fitting because total involvement is also needed to HOPE.
Sometimes, though, unless I pay attention, it can easily go missing. Yet, it is not elusive.
HOPE can be sturdy and steady, not fragile, easily broken or lost. I can hold tightly to it, not like a misty vapor that wisps this way or that way according to what blows through.
HOPE can fill my heart and mind with joy in the face of discouragement or despair.
Not easy to give pessimism the heave ho, but HOPE does it every time.
Helplessness hates HOPE.
Total mouth movement is required to say it. No mere mumbling can produce that word...HOPE
Somehow fitting because total involvement is also needed to HOPE.
Sometimes, though, unless I pay attention, it can easily go missing. Yet, it is not elusive.
HOPE can be sturdy and steady, not fragile, easily broken or lost. I can hold tightly to it, not like a misty vapor that wisps this way or that way according to what blows through.
HOPE can fill my heart and mind with joy in the face of discouragement or despair.
Not easy to give pessimism the heave ho, but HOPE does it every time.
Helplessness hates HOPE.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
She showed me a picture today.
The road winding through the woods.
(A common metaphor, I know)
Yet, still, as it curves beyond the trees
Comfort lies in knowing
The way is clearly marked though not fully seen.
Follow, follow see where it leads.
(A common metaphor, I know)
Yet, still, as it curves beyond the trees
Comfort lies in knowing
The way is clearly marked though not fully seen.
Follow, follow see where it leads.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Days like These
Sometimes my body just needs to stop and rest. If I don't listen, then it simply shuts down for a while. Such is the case this past week. Yet, I was unable to stop the world for a while to let myself restore to health. Result....heading into week 2 much the same.
While I care for myself today, wrapped in a blanket with tea and elderberry, tissues and moisturizer for peeling nose nearby, I am remembering how I cared for my children on their sick days. Using our special "sick blanket" while drinking lots of juice and watching favorite videos seemed to restore both body and soul. They were glad to let me take care and comfort them.
I wonder why it is difficult to take the time for "guilt free" restoration. I also wonder why it is difficult to honestly look at what might be causing my body shut-down times. And where does courage come from to not only face those things, but changing what needs to be changed.
To choose not to be captive in a prison of my own making.
When my head clears up, I will ponder this for possibilities.
While I care for myself today, wrapped in a blanket with tea and elderberry, tissues and moisturizer for peeling nose nearby, I am remembering how I cared for my children on their sick days. Using our special "sick blanket" while drinking lots of juice and watching favorite videos seemed to restore both body and soul. They were glad to let me take care and comfort them.
I wonder why it is difficult to take the time for "guilt free" restoration. I also wonder why it is difficult to honestly look at what might be causing my body shut-down times. And where does courage come from to not only face those things, but changing what needs to be changed.
To choose not to be captive in a prison of my own making.
When my head clears up, I will ponder this for possibilities.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Lesson Learned
Lesson learned this week:
Intent does not equal impact.
Except...I already knew this from years of living and interacting with people from many cultures and perspectives not my own. When I see this truth confused, I try not to feel surprised, instead acknowledge miscommunication leading to misunderstanding has occurred and move on.
Easier said than done.
Easier said than done.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Nutella and me
For several months I have walked by grocery shelves stocked with Nutella. The deep rich chocolate color calling me.
It is not just the sweet hazelnut flavor drawing me in, but the memories that go along with it. Sitting in Germany sampling my first taste of Nutella on crunchy crusted rolls with soft white middles. That kind of initiation made Nutella a favorite. So much that I realized a jar at home never lasts.
So, I don't buy it but walk by and glance at in from the corner of my eye. Sometimes, I will pick it up and look at it, then read the sugar content and put it back. Feels good to say "No!" sometimes.
But, Nutella waits patiently. Always there on the shelves. Waits knowingly. There will come a day when the forces of nature are working in one direction and I will succumb. Even though I hesitate and read the sugar content, I will succumb.
It is an old, comforting friend, Nutella is. I take it home and put it high on the shelf. Take it back down and open the lid skimming the top with a spoon before I quickly close it and put it back high up on the shelf. The next day, I hunt for bread that is Nutella worthy, usually settling for a small baguette with the crunchy crust and soft white middle. The third day, I slice two small pieces and spread a Nutella film on them before I enjoy them with my tea. The fourth day, I slice again....but is the bread starting to get a bit stale? The bread may dry out before I get the chance to finish it. I slice more not wanting to waste this good bread. During the next trip through the kitchen, I slice the rest up because there is so little left of the loaf. And on each small slice, a quick spread of Nutella.
Hmmm....now the bread is gone and so is half the jar. I wonder if Nutella starts to go stale on the fifth day which happens to be tomorrow.
It is not just the sweet hazelnut flavor drawing me in, but the memories that go along with it. Sitting in Germany sampling my first taste of Nutella on crunchy crusted rolls with soft white middles. That kind of initiation made Nutella a favorite. So much that I realized a jar at home never lasts.
So, I don't buy it but walk by and glance at in from the corner of my eye. Sometimes, I will pick it up and look at it, then read the sugar content and put it back. Feels good to say "No!" sometimes.
But, Nutella waits patiently. Always there on the shelves. Waits knowingly. There will come a day when the forces of nature are working in one direction and I will succumb. Even though I hesitate and read the sugar content, I will succumb.
It is an old, comforting friend, Nutella is. I take it home and put it high on the shelf. Take it back down and open the lid skimming the top with a spoon before I quickly close it and put it back high up on the shelf. The next day, I hunt for bread that is Nutella worthy, usually settling for a small baguette with the crunchy crust and soft white middle. The third day, I slice two small pieces and spread a Nutella film on them before I enjoy them with my tea. The fourth day, I slice again....but is the bread starting to get a bit stale? The bread may dry out before I get the chance to finish it. I slice more not wanting to waste this good bread. During the next trip through the kitchen, I slice the rest up because there is so little left of the loaf. And on each small slice, a quick spread of Nutella.
Hmmm....now the bread is gone and so is half the jar. I wonder if Nutella starts to go stale on the fifth day which happens to be tomorrow.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Honoring Martin Luther King Jr.
I have often heard the phrase, "live the courage of your convictions." Yet, I know so few that have actually had or made the opportunity to live this out.
In terms of living a life of faith in Christ, I have many chances to choose to live out my convictions. Mainly through the commandments of loving God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength and loving my neighbor as myself. Those choices are, at times, easier to make than other times.
Yet in Martin Luther King, I have a clear example of one whose love for God and neighbor led him to choose a path of inconvenience leading to emotional and bodily harm and eventually death. That is where his courage took him.
I don't know of any change in our society that has come about without the courage of someone to stand up and say, "Here is an injustice that must end. And, here is the way that justice may prevail."
The cost of change is the courage of heart and body to stand and raise a voice.
Having the courage to say and do what is right and just even when and no matter who disagrees with you. That is the inspiration of MLK's life to me.
In terms of living a life of faith in Christ, I have many chances to choose to live out my convictions. Mainly through the commandments of loving God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength and loving my neighbor as myself. Those choices are, at times, easier to make than other times.
Yet in Martin Luther King, I have a clear example of one whose love for God and neighbor led him to choose a path of inconvenience leading to emotional and bodily harm and eventually death. That is where his courage took him.
I don't know of any change in our society that has come about without the courage of someone to stand up and say, "Here is an injustice that must end. And, here is the way that justice may prevail."
The cost of change is the courage of heart and body to stand and raise a voice.
Having the courage to say and do what is right and just even when and no matter who disagrees with you. That is the inspiration of MLK's life to me.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Seriously?!
This past week I became part of a hand selected group of 20 women for a year of "Mentoring Encounters" with my friend Alicia Chole. I was so excited as this is a year of transitioning into a new season of life....the empty nest. What better way to move through this change than reflecting and drawing closer to God to hear His voice and direction!
10 of us met as a group for the first time through a Google circle "Hang Out" time. New technology for me. As I finally got into the video conversation, I smiled in my heart at the incredible, diverse group of women. I thought what I would say to introduce myself as I hoped to make a good impression and connection.
We listened to Alicia share about intentionality in life and I could tell that we were all soaking it in. She smiled and said she was leaving the last 10 minutes for questions or comments. It seemed that we were all reflecting and maybe trying to figure how to unmute our mic yet give way for someone to speak first. I decided I would write my thoughts by hitting the chat button on the bottom. Then I heard Alicia giggle and say softly, "Oh, that's cute, Roberta." Then she said louder, "How are you doing that?"
I looked at screen to see what she meant and there I was large screen with reindeer ears and large red nose. I was stunned. I moved my head rapidly from side to side and they followed me. Thoughts flooded my brain..."Who did that? How did someone get into my Google account? Why doesn't it stop? Shall I ignore them and keep typing my question?" But, then I glanced at the other women's faces on the bottom strip and saw a variety of expressions from surprise to concern. So I began in earnest to try and get rid of those ears and nose. But, no shaking them off or moving away. Even when I shifted completely off screen, they slightly trembled and waited gleefully for me to come back.
This all happened in seconds, finally I came back on and shrugged with sad eyes under my reindeer ears and said, "I don't know what to do. I don't know where they came from."
One woman noticed a button on the bottom of the screen that said "Reindeer" so I clicked on it and was saved! By this time, Alicia had been rolling in laughter and even applied her own reindeer ears and nose. I was also laughing so hard, I couldn't get it together. But, tried to compose myself as much as possible and make my comments audibly now trying to salvage some vestige of spiritual insight and wise thought.
Too late. My real face is now out there for my mentoring friends to forever see and know.
But, wait, isn't that what this group is really about.
10 of us met as a group for the first time through a Google circle "Hang Out" time. New technology for me. As I finally got into the video conversation, I smiled in my heart at the incredible, diverse group of women. I thought what I would say to introduce myself as I hoped to make a good impression and connection.
We listened to Alicia share about intentionality in life and I could tell that we were all soaking it in. She smiled and said she was leaving the last 10 minutes for questions or comments. It seemed that we were all reflecting and maybe trying to figure how to unmute our mic yet give way for someone to speak first. I decided I would write my thoughts by hitting the chat button on the bottom. Then I heard Alicia giggle and say softly, "Oh, that's cute, Roberta." Then she said louder, "How are you doing that?"
I looked at screen to see what she meant and there I was large screen with reindeer ears and large red nose. I was stunned. I moved my head rapidly from side to side and they followed me. Thoughts flooded my brain..."Who did that? How did someone get into my Google account? Why doesn't it stop? Shall I ignore them and keep typing my question?" But, then I glanced at the other women's faces on the bottom strip and saw a variety of expressions from surprise to concern. So I began in earnest to try and get rid of those ears and nose. But, no shaking them off or moving away. Even when I shifted completely off screen, they slightly trembled and waited gleefully for me to come back.
This all happened in seconds, finally I came back on and shrugged with sad eyes under my reindeer ears and said, "I don't know what to do. I don't know where they came from."
One woman noticed a button on the bottom of the screen that said "Reindeer" so I clicked on it and was saved! By this time, Alicia had been rolling in laughter and even applied her own reindeer ears and nose. I was also laughing so hard, I couldn't get it together. But, tried to compose myself as much as possible and make my comments audibly now trying to salvage some vestige of spiritual insight and wise thought.
Too late. My real face is now out there for my mentoring friends to forever see and know.
But, wait, isn't that what this group is really about.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A Kindred Spirit
Today I had dinner with a couple that are new to me. The husbands teach together. Chinese and the food was delicious. As we sat across the table sampling the many dishes spread before us we talked of our walks with God, the lessons learned, the questions raised, and the heart of parenting challenging daughters.
At one point, I looked into her eyes as she shared her stories and knew I found a kindred spirit. One of those surprising moments in life when unexpected connections happen. Her words and her heart resonated within me and I thought, "I know exactly what you mean. I understand what you feel. I hear you." It is satisfying to be understood.
My body and my soul were richly fed!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Finally Friday!
Transition is tricky. Happy to see everyone. Tired from the trip and vacation. Energy of students low and then high.
We are all readjusting to the routine. Some days. I love routine. Some days, I am bored with routine. If I feel like that, so do students, I am sure!
I had the first graders take a rest time. They looked so tired. One boy said, "In kindergarten we hated rest time. In first grade we wish we had rest time." I wanted to say, "That's a lesson for the rest of your life. Enjoy what you have when you have it, because it may be over sooner than you think and you will miss it when it is gone." 1st grade and he already learned that lesson....why is it taking me so long?
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Gifts and Shifts
We are given gifts to serve others during our lives.
The sense of purpose and destiny this knowledge has given me has shifted the mundane in life to ministry many times. The compass that directs my choices and actions is also this understanding. It is present always as true North and directing my journey.
Yet, gifts shift as I move along, sometimes trudging, sometimes skipping. Sometimes bent over with the weight of burdens as I stumble the rough road while other times, arms raised in the air as I dance swiftly over the smooth path.
God knows what is needed to exercise the gifts that He has given me. Where I need to be. What I need to do. How I need to hear Him. Who I need to see through His eyes. And heart...how to love as He does.
I pray I will be open to the shifting that happens and let the gifts rise up again that may have been buried for a season.
The sense of purpose and destiny this knowledge has given me has shifted the mundane in life to ministry many times. The compass that directs my choices and actions is also this understanding. It is present always as true North and directing my journey.
Yet, gifts shift as I move along, sometimes trudging, sometimes skipping. Sometimes bent over with the weight of burdens as I stumble the rough road while other times, arms raised in the air as I dance swiftly over the smooth path.
God knows what is needed to exercise the gifts that He has given me. Where I need to be. What I need to do. How I need to hear Him. Who I need to see through His eyes. And heart...how to love as He does.
I pray I will be open to the shifting that happens and let the gifts rise up again that may have been buried for a season.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
What I see in my students...
This is the second day back to school after Christmas break.
I see tired faces, eager faces, distracted faces, hopeful faces. In a week, I see over 500 students. Once a week they come into my classroom. I want them to know that even though it may not seem like much time, I see them. I look into their eyes and silently pray for love and joy during our time together. If they learn a bit more Spanish, great. If they feel our time together has been a highlight in the day, better yet!
I may forget a name, but I see them.
I see tired faces, eager faces, distracted faces, hopeful faces. In a week, I see over 500 students. Once a week they come into my classroom. I want them to know that even though it may not seem like much time, I see them. I look into their eyes and silently pray for love and joy during our time together. If they learn a bit more Spanish, great. If they feel our time together has been a highlight in the day, better yet!
I may forget a name, but I see them.
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